Let Me Bring You Up to Speed

Screenshot of SHENANIGANS and RIDICULOUSNESS.
Screenshot of SHENANIGANS and RIDICULOUSNESS.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t been around on the blog that much this summer.  Well, we’ve been traveling A LOT, and of course, the boys were out of school, which should actually explain everything.  BUT, I’ve been lucky enough to have my work featured on a few other sites in the last two months.  Here’s a rundown:

On The Mid:

Why the New York Magazine Cover Matters

6 Things the Beach Taught Me About Life

10 Things I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Marriage

The Hell That is Shopping For Uniforms For Children With Sensory Issues

And on MockMom:

Internet Troll Successful in Bullying Writer Into Submission

AND, dun dun dun, remember when Harmony and I did the session with MomCaveTV?  No?  Well, refresh your memory here: Hobbs & Hayworth Episode 1

Well, BIG NEWS!  We have our own show now on MomCaveTV and here is the first segment:

Introducing Hobbs & Hayworth on MomCaveTV!

We hope that you subscribe and enjoy watching us do silly things while ingesting libations.  It’s fun, and they get more ridiculous the more we drink.  Join us, won’t you?

Twelve Years Ago, My Husband Proposed to Me in a Bathroom

Excuse the dated manicure.
Excuse the dated manicure.

Fourteen years ago, a local magazine featured me as one of the ‘Sexiest Singles in Town’. Yep, that happened.

Anyhow, I started writing a relationship column for the same magazine shortly after. You know what that means — the crazies came out of the woodwork.

More jaded than ever, I had absolutely no interest in getting married. Shortly after the column started, I was auctioned off for a date at a black tie charity event.

For some reason that night, several married men hit on me, pushing me even further into the belief of never wanting to get married.

At the end of the night, a man wearing a wedding ring came over and asked me if I was still single. Just as I was about to go off on him, his wife walked up. They wanted to introduce me to their friend. I told them my number was in the book and forgot about it.

Well, their friend called me on Monday morning at my place of employment and I agreed to have dinner with him that Wednesday night. He wanted to pick me up, but I refused, and told me I would meet him at the restaurant. Who did he think he was? He could’ve been an ax murderer for God’s sake.

So, on April 16, I walked into Olive Street Bistro in Shreveport, Louisiana, and there he was– the man I was going to marry wearing an orange, long-sleeved button up sitting at the bar. I knew instantly I was going to marry him, which was unbelievably unnerving, since I never believed in love at first sight.

Less than two months later, I had moved in with Eric into an old, charming 1920’s home in South Highlands in Shreveport. This house had an original black and white bathroom, complete with the vintage tile I am obsessed with. Anyhow, we started to restore the bathroom shortly after I moved in, complete with redoing the cabinets. The last thing that needed to be done was to bleach the floor.

Then, Eric started to ask me when I was going to mop the floor in the bathroom. For those of you that know me even a smidge, I fucking hate being told what to do. I hate it with a vengeance. So, I didn’t mop the floor. This went on for two weeks. Because no man was going to tell me what to do, damnit.

But, finally, I mopped the floor on a Sunday morning, July 27, to be exact (12 years ago today!). That night, I was sitting on the couch and he went to take a shower. When he came out, he put on the Michael Buble song ‘That’s All’, and asked me to dance with him. As we were dancing, he said, ‘I love you’, and I said ‘I love you’ back.

Then, he said, ‘I love you more’, to which I said ‘Prove it’.

He instructed me to go look in the bathroom. Sitting on the black sink was a blue Tiffany’s box. It was my engagement ring.

He proposed to me in the bathroom. He had waited to ask me until the floor was mopped, to signify that we had completed our first of many projects together. We got married less than seven months later (yes, to those that are counting, less than a year after we met) and the couple that introduce us served as a bridesmaid and the best man in our wedding.  I’m also pretty sure he’s not an ax murderer.

So now, this photo has been in every bathroom we’ve ever owned. When we moved into our house we built, we used the same tile in our master bathroom as was in the bathroom he proposed in, except now they are in a chocolate brown, not black.

The first few months we lived in our current house, the photo was out for framing, and something felt ‘off’. When it was finally hung up, he and I looked at each other and said ‘now it feels like home’.

 

 

 

Listen To Your Mother

 

Courtesy of Amy Konieczka
Courtesy of Amy Konieczka

On May 3rd, I had the privilege and opportunity to participate in the first Baton Rouge production of Listen To Your Mother. Listen To Your Mother is the creation of Ann Imig, and weaves an individual quilt of the voices and experiences of motherhood through a production that centers around the weekend of Mother’s Day.

I auditioned for this production because I had produced The Vagina Monologues in college with my two best friends and it still ranks, hands down, of one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. If Listen To Your Mother was anything like that, I was in.

The difference here was that we are telling our own stories, not someone else’s, baring our souls with laughter and struggles to you. It was an emotional experience, bonding with these other women, over our collective experiences, that while similar, were also very different.

Courtesy of Amy Konieczka
Courtesy of Amy Konieczka
Courtesy of Amy Konieczka
Courtesy of Amy Konieczka
Courtesy of Amy Konieczka Photography
Courtesy of Amy Konieczka Photography
courtesy of Amy Konieczka Photography
courtesy of Amy Konieczka Photography
Backstage, getting final instructions.
Backstage, getting final instructions.

This year, Listen To Your Mother was produced in 39 cities.  One of the best parts about this experience is that not only did I get to share this with the Baton Rouge cast of eleven other amazing, smart and caring women, I was able to share this with all of my writer friends who were in these performances in other cities.  We tweeted, texted, emailed, and messaged support to each other.

And today, the YouTube videos are out.  All of my friends who were in other cities, I get to watch them bare their souls to an audience I was not a part of.  And, of course, this means you get to watch me explain feminism through farting.  Yes, you read that right.  Watch this here:

I can’t wait to audition for next year’s production!