I’m not sure how many of you out there are raising boys, but I have to be frank: I am wholly unprepared at any given moment to discuss their penises and the way their bodies work and these moments will always happen, without a doubt, when my husband is not around. To prepare myself, I ordered a few age appropriate books on ‘what is happening to my body’ last week. For the record, I have yet to receive them. I also wrote last week about how mortified I am that Radcliffe is focused on sex talk, so let me expound on that conversation….

The scene: early Saturday morning (pre-coffee, if you can imagine), the boys are watching a cartoon fairy tale.

Radcliffe: ‘MOM. When they kiss, my penis gets bigger inside my pants.’

Me: (dying, holy.freaking.shit.what.do.I.say) ‘Well, that’s completely natural that your privates do that. BUT, that’s private, and remember we don’t talk to anyone about that.’

Radcliffe: ‘I know, Mom. I kept it in my pants and didn’t show anyone.’

Yes, really. I guess that’s a start? I need those books to come in NOW!