As my husband was leaving to go to work tonight, Radcliffe tells him, ‘You’d be better off driving down the road with a hat hanging out the window asking people for money.’

Later, I asked Radcliffe if he wanted to take me on a date to dinner. Radcliffe: ‘Audrey, (mom is so not cool) even if you weren’t my mom, I wouldn’t take you on a date.’

I made him go eat with me anyway, and he tells me he wishes he could talk to God. I told him, ‘go for it, he’s listening.’

Radcliffe: ‘God, I really, really want you to start raining sausages. That way, I can just open my mouth and eat with no hands. This is my prayer to you.’

He’s about to learn a lesson in unanswered prayers.